|
|
|
 | |  |
| |
|
On the third date I decided, I would go for the home run and invite this girl back to my place and see if she wants to "drink some wine and watch a movie"... I know whats going to happen, she knows whats going to happen. Well she tells me that she had to go to happry hour with some of her freinds, so by the time she came over to my apartment she was pretty drunk. Without either of us drinking a sip of wine she gets all hot and heavy with me. One thing leads to another and shes going down on me. All of a sudden I feel a pain on the right side of my woody. I didn't know if it was cause I hadn't gotten a bj in a while or maybe she couldn't help but use a bit of her teeth. No, it wasn't a bit of her teeth, it was a full on bear trap! I tell her its time for me to put on a condom. Next thing I know, my woddy is on FIRE. Did this chick give me an STD already?? WTF? Anyway I did the deed in extreme pain and while I go to despose of the condom, I notice that there is a red mark underneath the head of my woody... This chick lacerated the little fellow. WTF!
|
|
 |
good date, how bout another? (57) |
bad start, but try again! (67) |
good date, but not your mate! (34)  |
ditch, don't hitch! (53) |
|
On 05/23/2011 at 08:27am - Funny - by guest |
|
|
|
|
|
 | |  | |
|
|
|
|
| | |
| |
|
SO I met this girl online, her profile looked fantastic, I give her a 9 due to her pics and profile. We set up a date to meet at a local restaurant, I got there on time and started to look for her. Unexpectedly, a morbidly obese woman waved at me and I kept telling myself that she was waving at a waiter. Eventually, she got up and approached me and said " you didnt recognize me?" I respnded by saying " No, and you are?" she proceeded to explain that it was her on the profile but the pic was 10 years old. Ok, After all this, I decided to give her personality a shot becuase she could become a good friend. Sorry to say though, that the attraction was not there, cummon, she was obese! So, we sat down and started to talk, she told me how depressed she was and how life has been sucking for her for the past ten years. I even got depressed listening to this shit. I mean cummon, easy there on the first date!!! But what sealed the deal for me of escaping was the way she downed a chicken, she ate like a summo wrestler on steroids, it was freaking disgusting! My escapre route was " Im going to the restroom, will be right back!" Apparently, I didnt come back ;)
|
|
| |
| good date, how bout another? (51) |
bad start, but try again! (53) |
| good date, but not your mate! (41) |
ditch, don't hitch! (52) |
|
On 05/18/2011 at 02:42pm - Blind Date - by Mr Lova |
|
|
|
|
|
| | | |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
